


Be Brave

by StormAngel523



Series: Hogwarts AU [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff, M/M, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 22:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormAngel523/pseuds/StormAngel523
Summary: Nico Di Angelo learns there's different ways to be brave.





	Be Brave

**Author's Note:**

> Possible triggers for mental health issues!  
> Any mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy!

Nico Di Angelo scowled darkly at his Charms textbook. The scowl wasn’t actually directed at the complicated charm work or the six inches of essay he had left to write. Instead, he was scowling, trying to ignore the next table over. Percy Jackson, Hufflepuff’s Quidditch Captain, and Slytherin Keeper, Luke Castellan, had been in a quidditch rivalry since Percy played an impromptu game with his cousin Thalia as a first year. Angry at not being allowed to try out for the team until next year and annoyed with Luke’s teasing and tips, it became a one-on-one game. However, everyone was aware that the rivalry hid deeper feelings and everyone was well aware when the sexual tension was resolved. For appearances sake, Percy tried to pretend the two were still caught in a heated rivalry, but their fellow teammates have walked in on them plenty of times in the locker rooms.   
Percy had befriended his sister, Bianca, when she was sorted into Ravenclaw and worried their father, Hades, would be disappointed. He was there for Nico’s half-sister Hazel when she was sorted into Hufflepuff and also worried about Hades’ reaction. And he had been there for Nico during one of the hardest parts of his life: when the young boy whose affiliation with ghosts, keen interest of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and love for dressing in all black was sorted into a House he knew would bring the greatest shame: Gryffindor.   
Nico always thought the Fates were having a laugh at him. His mother passed away when he was young, his father was distant, Bianca passed the year he was accepted into Hogwarts, and then he had to be sorted into Gryffindor.  
“I’m not like them.” Eleven-year-old him whispered to the Hat, pleading. “I’m not brave or foolish or adventurous. Or…or…” Nico had been afraid he would start to cry.  
“There’re different ways of being brave.” The Hate said almost gently. “Sometimes, your greatest enemy is yourself.”  
Nico didn’t understand what that meant. Not until Bianca had passed and Percy because his anchor. That led to his second biggest problem: he was gay.   
Girls were beautiful. Thalia was striking with a don’t-care attitude and signature smirk. Annabeth was put-together and terrifyingly determined. Juniper was sweet and friendly to everyone. Clarisse was tough, able to take a hit and dish it out. But Nico wasn’t attracted to them, which was okay, they were his friends anyway. However, he wasn’t attracted to any of the girls in his classes. Or in his year. Or the years above him.   
Then he just…started to notice things.  
Things like how Percy’s sea-green eyes would dance as if they were laughing at you. Or how his messy black hair looked soft. Or how his crooked smile was kind of sweet. Or how warm his arm around Nico’s shoulders felt.  
So, Nico had done the logical thing: denied his feelings, avoided Percy, secretly resented Luke, and snapped at anyone who asked about dating or crushes or girls. It hadn’t worked for several reasons.  
While Percy was oblivious to Nico’s crush, some of their other friends weren’t. Sympathetic, Annabeth had shared in a rare heart-to-heart how she used to have a crush on Luke and got over it when she started to have a crush on Percy.   
“It was hard. I felt as if I had lost both of them. Which was ridiculous because we’re all still friends. I was angry too because I felt as if they had stolen my chances. That’s not how it works though. You can’t help who you like or who you don’t like. I had to learn to accept that they made each other happy and that it wasn’t about what I lacked because I could be happy for them and still have a chance for happiness for myself. The heart…it doesn’t make sense. You’ll find it’s much bigger than you thought and maybe, you’ll never stop loving someone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with someone else.” Nico watched her eyes flicker from Percy and Luke leaned towards each other, laughing and nudging each other, to the Gryffindor table where Jason Grace, Thalia’s half-brother, was talking to a fellow housemate, Piper McLean.  
Hazel was also a constant presence, a safe haven amidst his grief and love problems and identity crisis. And with Hazel, one of the nicest people Nico’s ever met, came a much larger friend group. He couldn’t avoid Percy because Percy was stubborn, but he had more options.   
And that’s how his third problem came about: Will Solace.  
A Hufflepuff in Nico’s year who wanted to be the next Newt Scamander and save all the magical beasts. He was funny and sarcastic, a fan of Muggle TV shows and music, and somehow became a source of sunshine in Nico’s life.  
Nico’s coping habits were denial, avoidance, pretending everything was fine, acting as if he didn’t care and blaming himself. He blamed himself for things he had no control over: his mother’s death, Bianca’s death, his father’s growing distance. He had been a toddler when his mother was killed in Muggle London in a wrong place-wrong time mugging gone wrong. She had put herself in front of Nico. Bianca died during an attack by the new generation of Death Eaters, the bitter ones who resented how the war ended and the fanatics who wanted to recreate Voldemort’s vision. She had died saving Nico’s life. And it was Nico’s fault for being sorted into Gryffindor, for not even being the right kind of Gryffindor. So, there were nights were Nico spelled the bathroom door locked and stared at the mirror, sick at the sight of the exhausted skeleton staring back at him. Those nights he either went to bed feeling empty or took out a tiny little Muggle blade, barely an inch long, nothing of concern and made neat little cuts across his thighs: one for each mistake, for each death and disappoint he caused.  
Will had seen them. That had been an accident as Nico had planned on no one ever seeing his scars. Nico had steeled himself, waiting for judgment, pity, something that would make him feel small and pathetic and guilty.  
But Will, had grabbed his hand and smiled so softly it hurt to look at. “You don’t deserve that, Nico. You won’t believe me, but I’ll be here until you do. And even after that.”  
Then Nico found himself becoming best friends with one Will Solace. And maybe the Sorting Hat had been right: his greatest enemy was himself and accepting himself took courage. Will helped a lot with that, but Nico knew he was the only one who could stand up to his own demons.  
So, he stood in front of the mirror one day, forcing the dark thoughts away (too skinny, ugly, weak, pathetic, a disappoint) and took a deep breathe. “I’m gay.” He whispered, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat. “I’m gay.” He repeated. “I’m gay. And that doesn’t change who I am.” And there’s nothing wrong with who you are, A voice that sounded like Will’s reminded him in his head, but he ignored it because one step at a time. “I’m gay. I used to have a crush on Percy Jackson.” Nico paused, linking at his reflection. “I used to have a crush on Percy Jackson.”   
The next day, Nico felt compelled to somehow share this revelation.   
“You’re no longer my favorite Hufflepuff.” He said, voice strong, a smile threatening to break across his face as he spotted Will fighting for the last slice of pie.   
He didn’t remember what Percy said in response besides his mock wounded expression. He didn’t remember the rest of dinner. What he did remember was standing in front of the mirror that night and saying, “I have a crush on Will Solace. He makes me happy. I deserve to be happy. Even if he doesn’t like me back, it doesn’t matter. He’s my friend.”  
****  
“There’s different ways of being brave.” Nico reminded himself as he headed to the library to work on homework with Will.   
Nico was distracted the whole time as Will gushed about his Care of Magical Creatures essay, dark eyes focusing on the blonde’s giddy smile and growing excitement, sweeping gesticulations and the way his eyes were glowing. In a daze, he followed Will who needed to grab another book.  
Shaking himself, Nico refocused on what Will was talking about as the Hufflepuff scanned the book titles.   
“Are you coming to the match tonight? Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw. You know to support Annabeth and Percy.”  
Nico noticed the way Will frowned at the other boy’s name. “You don’t like him?” Nico asked, frowning. Percy was the kind of person that either charmed you right away or grew on you.  
“Huh? Oh, uh, he’s a nice guy.” Will shrugs, pursing his lips. “What about you? Do you like him?” Will turned, his gaze heavy, tone loaded.  
Nico swallowed. Be brave, he reminded himself. “I used to.” He cleared his throat. “It was hard. Bianca had died, I was a Gryffindor, I was, was gay. Then Percy fell in love with Luke.” Nico licked his lips, face hot. “I uh, used to be jealous. Of Luke. I wanted Percy. Or I thought I did. I realized recently that I’m no longer jealous that Luke has Percy. I’m jealous how happy they are. Together. And uh, I want that. What they have. But with someone else.” He rushed to clarify.  
Will’s eyes, a lovely sky blue brightened impossibly more. “With who?” He asked, hopeful and afraid.  
Be brave, he reminded himself again. Taking a deep breathe, he leaned in closer. “Can I-I kiss you?” His cheeks burned and he ducked his head embarrassed.  
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now.”   
Nico’s head snapped up at the admission to see Will, blushing, but tongue poking out between his teeth, eyes determined. The two boys leaned in. It was a sweet, chaste kiss because they were in the library and Nico was too embarrassed to do anything more. Will didn’t seem to mind. He grabbed Nico’s hand, the book he had been eyeing earlier and asked, “Come to the match with me? As my date?”  
“Yeah. I love to.” Nico smiled, face burning. Maybe being brave wasn’t so bad after all.


End file.
